Debit and Credit- Tales of Gong and Ward

Archive for the ‘Tale 6’ Category

Kaju: Have you seen the movie Inception?

Gong: [With his plateful of Fried Rice and Gobi Manchurian] Yeah, Just a few days after watching Shutter Island. It made me wonder why Leonardo di Caprio would chose scripts with the memories of his late wives haunting him…

Kaju: Chris Nolan is a creative genius, he gives the word IMAGINATION a new dimension. I loved the whole movie right from the word go. Everything was perfect in the movie. The action scenes were mind-blowing.

Gong: Technically no one got killed, as they were simply attacking imaginative people in a dream. And if you see it from a very simple angle the 7 people had a long 10 hours sleep which CA aspirants can only dream of with their eyes open.

Kaju: A long sleep, thats what you say….

IIT GUY 1: [to IIT GUY 2] I seriously had given the challenger a chance, I have to take back my words. He is just opening the gates for Kaju to trample him. Kaju can win in this very round.

Kaju: lets recount the 6 characters and the various levels…Dream  Level1..  All the 6 were there.. with Fischer junior… They were in a Plane in the reality.. Dream Level 2 the..

Gong:  Level 1: The Van Chase Sequence: All the 6 were there and they kidnapped Fischer, the heir of Saito’s rival. In Level 2 Yosouf the chemist was not there as he had initiated the dream sharing in LEVEL 1.  The dream sharing was supervised by Arthur in THE HOTEL , followed by Eames the forger in the Snowfield battle-zone which was Level3.

Kaju: Level4 we had  Ariadne , Fischer, Cobb (Leonardo) and Saito where they faced Cobb’s wife in their dream-place.

Gong: A small error.. Saito was not there in Level4, the 5th dream was the LIMBO where Cobb went to get Saito as he had been grievously hurt in Level 1 and gave up in LEVEL 3.

Kaju: No.. no.. He was there in the 4th level. Or was he..

IIT GUY 1: Round goes to Gong [Lifts his Left hand and 3 fingers]

SoupKaju, your mom has called…

[Kaju takes the phone… while Soup addresses Swap, Flap, Ward and the IIT guys…]

Boy did we expect that? The contenders are tied at 10 points each.. Time for Ward and Swap to predict the final points.

Ward: 15-10 in favour of Gong.

Swap: 15- 10 in favour of Kaju…

Soup: 14-11 Ice-cream stays..

Ward approaches Gong.

Ward: You are going real good. Just keep the drift…

Gong: Boy, it has been easy to tackle him, but why does the lifting of a hand excite you or Kaju’s cronies?

Ward: We place some neat bets and if you win.. you can take the entire booty.

Gong: I knew that you guys were upto something. We can share it.

Ward: [Winks] Ok if you insist,

Kaju [in the background]: No I wont have another, I promise.

SOUP: ROUND 5- The Personal Round

Kaju: Do you like your job?

Gong: Well, it depends primarily on the audits one is sent. The clients can be a terror at times and handling the Audit Manager is not necessarily easy.

Kaju: No, I meant for the pay you receive.

Gong: Again how does it matter to you?

Kaju: Just curiosity.

Gong: A trait which kills the cat… Can I be a little curious?

Kaju: Yes, Go on..

Gong: What did you just promise your mother?

Kaju: Well that is a personal question and I do not wish to answer it like you..

Gong: May I guess it then..?? DO you swim in your bed in the night?

Kaju [appears surprised]: No what do you mean?

Gong: To put it in simple words.. You promised your mother what seems to be not another glass of Mirinda to ensure that your bed does not become a ocean in the night.

Ward, Soup and the IIT guys burst out laughing…

Flap: [To Swap] What does he mean?

Swap: Leave it.. Just plain disgusting. We lost it. Kaju owes us some money now.

IIT GUY 2: Gong just stole the thunder and took the ground beneath  Kaju’s feat. How much do you think would be appropriate? That is a Knock-Out PUNCH.


IIT GUY1: For the sheer entertainment… 5 points to Gong

Soup: And we have a new winner amongst us this year… Gong.The vouchers worth 600 bucks goes to Ward.But before you guys Swap and Flap leave.. Here is a little statistics for you.


X axis= Rounds, Y axis= Points.

Ward: You have rubbed enough salt on their wounds.. Soup.

Soup: Yes, I know.. Love the feeling. How would you treat your friend tomorrow?

Ward: Dude can you pack some more Gobi Manchurian for him. That is the sole reason he came here.

I would like to thank Manjima Roy [for the image of Kaju], MJ Singh, Saurav Mishra, Agneta Ghose, Putcha Vamsi, Tapabrata Banerjee for their valuable inputs. Would also thank my colleagues in Office for allowing me to write during Office hours.

The Various Characters and the various levels of Inception they were in has been shown below…

Character Role 1 2 3 4 5

Van Chase Hotel Snow Fort Dreamland Limbo
Yusouf Chemist y n n n n
Arthur Point Man y y n n n
Eames Forger y y y n n
Fischer jr. The Mark y y y y n
Saito Fischer’s Rival y y y n y
Ariadne Architect y y y y n
Cobb Extractor y y y y y

Soup: Welcome to the Duel 2010!! Messer Swap, Flap and Ward, we have a contest on hand between last year’s defending champion Kaju and a new unsuspecting challenger Mr. Gong.

[To Ward]: Swap and Flap are jointly playing against you this time. The rules of the last year’s duel between Ward and Kaju prevail. [To Swap and Flap] You have already submitted your stakes of a Nuts and Spices Gift Voucher worth Rs. 300 to me like Ward. The winner takes it all minus my 40%. The contenders Gong and Kaju would be judged by the IIT aspirants. If either of the IIT guys  raises his Left hand indicating numbers 3, 4 or 5, it means Gong won that round with 3, 4 or 5 points respectively in that round and if he lifts his Right hand in same fashion, it means Kaju won.

We will have 5 rounds and the last round being “THE PERSONAL ROUND”. You can determine the final points to be secured by the contenders. The winner of such prediction will take home the extra family packet of Kwality Walls’ Choco Delight. If neither of the teams can determine the exact points, it stays in my refrigerator. Without much ado, it seems Kaju is going to initiate the proceedings. Hope my instructions were clear to you.

Gong and Swap nod their heads in affirmation.

Kaju: [To Ward] what fascinated you about accounts or as a matter of fact to the CA course?

Gong: Frankly, I do not remember. This question pops out generally during the first week of a new batch of CA coaching class. I do not have a specific answer to your question.

Kaju: I would like to have an answer to my question, if not you then why do others generally join the course.

Gong: The logic part in accounts generally draws students to the CA course who might not be that well versed in Physics or Chemistry. Sometimes the students opt for this course on the insistence of their relatives which is as good as suicidal. Some are drawn by the sheer pull and attraction of numbers.  Then there are also other factors like a CA are reasonably well paid and 89% of Chartered Accountants have considerably attractive spouses.

Kaju: I am also very much fascinated by numbers. Even a random number interests me like 1729.

Swap: Round 1- Wiki Knowledge.

Gong: Well, it did not fascinate Prof. Hardy as much, however his greatest discovery from Erode found it very interesting. 13 + 123 = 93 + 103 . Right?? I believe the number is called a Cab number.

Kaju: Oh, so you do know about Hardy and Ramanujan. G.H. Hardy was a celebrated mathematician and professor in Cambridge. Well he always believed that Maths is beautiful and doubted the existence of ugly Mathematics. He used to head a secret society in Cambridge University…

G.H. Hardy

Gong: Known as the Cambridge Apostles. His good friend was Bertrand Russel who was anti-idealism and rather made a case for idle-ism in one of his essays. I believe Amartya Sen was also a member in Cambridge Apostles.

Kaju: Oh.. Hmm.. Lets go and collect the Cake and Mirinda.

[In the Judges Arena]

IIT guy 1: Hey that ended real quickly. The challenger just smothered Kaju in the latter’s specialty area.

IIT guy 2: Just the 1st round. Let us see how it proceeds. I believer challenger deserves a 4.

IIT guy 1: Agree. [Raises his left hand and 4 fingers]

Soup: Real sweet. Challenger takes a lead.

End of Round I


Kaju: So are you into tech-savvy gizmos?

Flap: Round 2- Tech-Gizmos

Gong: No not much, though  my brother gifted me an ipod.

Kaju: Which tech gizmo would you like to own?

Gong: Well, as I said I am not much into gizmos… Which 1 would you like to own?

Kaju: A Samsung Galaxy Tab!!

Gong: Why so?

Kaju: I like how it is a perfect mix of functionality and portability, small enough to carry it along, but still functional enough to do all the tasks a desktop can. And it also scores above Steve Job’s i-pad. The i-Phone4 went for severe public bashing after his comments about how people were supposed to handle it.

Gong: Yeah, that dented Apple’s image slightly, however I perceive tech gadgets are largely owned because of the Temporary Cool Factor it adds to its owner.

Kaju: [raises his eyebrows] I certainly do not think so; you said you own an i-pod which you believe adds to your style quotient. For music devices like the i-Pod; the sound coding and decoding is so elaborate and perfect that the quality of sound you get out of the iPod speakers/headphones is unmatched… even the earphones are specially designed to cater to such electric signals.

Gong: Yumm!! [Bites into his cake] I would not mind another helping of the cake. Yeah the intricacies of technology might interest people like you, however people generally purchase devices for the sheer excitement of having something latest. Like everyone went gung-ho and raving about i-Phone 4 and then soon people realized the fault in it. Constant update on the technology front is actually resulting adding to the obscurity of tech gizmos launched a year back. I would like to have another piece of cake.

Kaju: Well I would like to have a refill of a Mirinda.

[In the Judges Arena]

IIT guy 1: Looks like Kaju has found his way back into the contest, after the first round disaster.

IIT guy 2: Yeah, totally would have taken a 5, but for the last few points raised by the challenger.

IIT guy 1: Three to Kaju. [Slightly raises the right hand and 3 fingers]

Soup: And Kaju bounces back, but Gong still maintains a slight lead.

End of Round II


Gong: Did you check out the Roger Federer’s feat of tossing the can out of some ones’ head during the shooting of a certain commercial?

Kaju: Yeah, it is hilarious to see Roger Federer reduced to doing this sort of tomfoolery to garner publicity.

Gong: Dude, Take my word it is not tomfoolery.  It displays the high level of concentration he possesses.

Kaju: High Level concentration!! Where did it go during the  US Open semi-final match against Novak when he had a match point in his kitty? No doubt we are seeing a new master unleash. Nadal is the man. 2  years 8 Grand Slams and he would equal Federer and go onto become the best tennis player the world has ever seen.

Gong: Nah, Federer will rule the roost next year and we might see new champions emerging.

Kaju: No way!! Nadal is the greatest player, the world has ever seen. The youngest player ever to capture a Career Grand Slam surely will leave a mark in years to come.

Gong: Well, even Andre Agassi won the 5 titles which has been won by Federer also..

Kaju: When did he win the Olympic Gold?

Gong: While partnering Stanislas Wawrinka in Beijing 2008. Coming back to Agassi, he won all the 4 titles plus the Olympics Gold, yet Sampras and Borg are considered superior despite the fact that they did not win in Roland Garros and Flushing meadows respectively cause they were a Class Act and not necessarily flashy like Agassi or Nadal.


Soup: Guys!! Dinner is ready.

Kaju: I would get 1 more glass of Mirinda.

[In the Judges Arena]

IIT guy 1: The challenger Gong is  foolish as he is still being loyal to  Federer. I suggest 5 points for Kaju.

IIT guy 2: No, 4 would be appropriate for Kaju’s point of views and Gong’s counter attack, though it was not that strong. [Slightly raises the right hand and 4 fingers]

Swap: Boy O Boy, Kaju takes a lead!!!

Ward: 4 points for those foolish statements 2 years 4 grand slams, Gong had the better of him.

Flap: No way, he was just telling Old is Gold and the Judges know the best.

End of Round III


[Our dear friend Ward is facing an ordeal. He has been invited to his neighbour’s birthday party. Though Chocolate cake and Gobi Manchurian seem tempting, the thought of being pestered by a 13 year old has got him worried. ]

Ward: Shucks!! If it would not have been for the Chocolate cake from Nibbles, Gobi Manchurian and Paneer Butter Masala, I would have very well skipped the birthday party of Soups’ sister.


Birthday Cake


Gong: Dude, food is the sole factor which binds you to commitments. But this is the first time I am finding you skeptical to attend a party despite having made the first investigation report of today’s menu.

Ward: Gong, Soups’ sister turns 12 today. I am actually worried about the presence of her tween-friends in the party.

Gong: It seems to me to be just any other Birthday Party of an average 12 year old.

Ward: Just any other Birthday Party of an average 12 year old, you say. Wow!! [EVIL GRIN] Well I would like you to accompany me for the party tonight and do not worry about the present. I already purchased Miley Cyrus stationery for her. I would call Soup and inform him.

Gong: Dude, though it seems odd to attend a Birthday Party uninvited, Gobi Manchurian and Chocolate cake beckons.

SCENE 2: Soup’s Drawing room.

[A room decorated with Balloons and Paper ribbons with atrocious Fluorescent shades of Green and Pink. About 20 people are split into small groups conversing amongst themselves.]

Ward: Gong, I would confess that I did bring you here with an intention sinister in nature. However being aware of the severity of the pain and trouble you might come across sooner than later, it is always advisable that you keep your mouth filled with food most of the time. There I will get some snacks for you. [Goes and collects a bowlful of Lays].

[Soup walks towards Ward and Gong.]

Ward: Meet Gong, my colleague from office.

Soup: [To Gong] Hi, Ward was telling me about bringing a friend and the reason behind. Beware!! The reason you are going to meet is a Major Pest.  Talk of the Devil, there he passes.

A harmless looking boy with round spectacles from the 90s passes about. The boy appears more like a creepy Professor with his eyeballs rolling in remarkable fashion; capturing the slightest notice of any unusual activity.

Gong: Why he appears pretty harmless? What harm can a random 13 year old do?

A sly smile appears on Ward and Soup’s faces.

Soup: Just be careful of Kaju, do not entertain him much. If he bothers you, just ensure you have your Mouth and plate filled with food. Gtg!! Enjoy yourselves.

Gong: Dude, we tackle clients with attitude problems and you ask me to be careful of a 13 year old named Cashew.  By the way I could not help noticing but those guys in the corner are speaking in Chemical Equations.

Ward: Nothing weird, they would be appearing for their 12th std. board examinations. They must be discussing about their IIT classes.

Gong: And those 3 females, they seem to be more interested in messaging rather than speak with each other.

Ward: Well, actually they are texting each other. It is much safer than being caught by eaves drooping siblings about the love stories in college campuses. See them Lol. [The girls chortle]


Birthday Map


Gong: Creepy!! The birthday Girl and her friends appear to be aping Hannah Montana or is it Hillary Duff. And those 2 kids pestering Soup and his friend about Hacking. Who do they think they are?? Stephen Wozniak [Utters Loudly]!!

[Kaju turns around and moves towards Ward and Gong]

Ward: Oh dear, why did you have to blab out that name so loud? He is approaching us. Stuff your mouth with Lays!!

Gong: I am not going to shy away from a 13 year old guy with a funny name.




Kaju: Hi, Ward!! It seems you and your companion are discussing about Apple’s Founder.

Gong: Not exactly, I just mentioned 1 of the founder’s name who is a popular hacker.

Ward indicates with his fingers that his mouth is full.

Kaju: Hi I am Kaustav J.

Gong: Oh so you are The Kaju. My friend here was praising you a little while ago.

Ward muffled cough. Heads for more Lays.

Kaju: Yeah. I am trying to get used to that. People keep praising me. For no reasons less they call me THE PRODIGY. [Ward coughs again]

Gong: I thought they address you as Kaju, Hindi for Cashew.

Kaju: Well, the School Correspondent of my school calls me THE PRODIGY after I topped the Chennai region for a National Talent Search examination.

Gong: My heartiest congratulations to you.

Kaju: So what do you do?

Gong: I work in the same Audit firm as your acquaintance Ward does.

Kaju [Looks with disdain]: So you pursued commerce in your +2. Is the pay any good?

Gong: Excuse me!!

Kaju: Yeah dude, what is your salary?

Ward: Dude Kaju, we are CA aspirants who are still in the process of learning. We get a Stipend for our services.

Kaju: Stipend is just a synonym of Salary. [Asks Gong] So what is your stipend?

Gong: [nonchalantly] neither Ward nor I are interested to marry either your sister or daughter [if any]; what we earn is none of your business?

Soup: Guys, they are going to cut the cake.

Ward: Finally. [To Gong] Boy that was sweet. But be prepared for some backlash. You just messed with a self appellate-d PRODIGY. I would like to warn you that it would get dirty. There he goes to Swap and Flap, the wannabe-hackers

Gong: How does he lash back? Kung-fu??

Ward: Worse, A 5 staged conversation regarding various topics of his liking. The fifth round generally becomes a bloody business. He uses his entire intellect to get the best of his oponents.

Gong: Did you ever get into this 5 staged debate?

Ward: Yes last year, same occasion and location. If you last till the 5th round, probe him on Mirinda Check. Just show no mercy, knock him out flat. But go low in the 3rd round, ie give him some space to get comfortable.

Gong: What is the Mirinda Chec….?? [Voice drowns  amidst the Birthday Song]

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear POLKA
Happy Birthday to You.

From good friends and true,
From old friends and new,
May good luck go with you,
And happiness too.

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