Debit and Credit- Tales of Gong and Ward

BIRTHDAY PARTY-I: Drawing of Battlelines

Posted on: September 9, 2010

[Our dear friend Ward is facing an ordeal. He has been invited to his neighbour’s birthday party. Though Chocolate cake and Gobi Manchurian seem tempting, the thought of being pestered by a 13 year old has got him worried. ]

Ward: Shucks!! If it would not have been for the Chocolate cake from Nibbles, Gobi Manchurian and Paneer Butter Masala, I would have very well skipped the birthday party of Soups’ sister.


Birthday Cake


Gong: Dude, food is the sole factor which binds you to commitments. But this is the first time I am finding you skeptical to attend a party despite having made the first investigation report of today’s menu.

Ward: Gong, Soups’ sister turns 12 today. I am actually worried about the presence of her tween-friends in the party.

Gong: It seems to me to be just any other Birthday Party of an average 12 year old.

Ward: Just any other Birthday Party of an average 12 year old, you say. Wow!! [EVIL GRIN] Well I would like you to accompany me for the party tonight and do not worry about the present. I already purchased Miley Cyrus stationery for her. I would call Soup and inform him.

Gong: Dude, though it seems odd to attend a Birthday Party uninvited, Gobi Manchurian and Chocolate cake beckons.

SCENE 2: Soup’s Drawing room.

[A room decorated with Balloons and Paper ribbons with atrocious Fluorescent shades of Green and Pink. About 20 people are split into small groups conversing amongst themselves.]

Ward: Gong, I would confess that I did bring you here with an intention sinister in nature. However being aware of the severity of the pain and trouble you might come across sooner than later, it is always advisable that you keep your mouth filled with food most of the time. There I will get some snacks for you. [Goes and collects a bowlful of Lays].

[Soup walks towards Ward and Gong.]

Ward: Meet Gong, my colleague from office.

Soup: [To Gong] Hi, Ward was telling me about bringing a friend and the reason behind. Beware!! The reason you are going to meet is a Major Pest.  Talk of the Devil, there he passes.

A harmless looking boy with round spectacles from the 90s passes about. The boy appears more like a creepy Professor with his eyeballs rolling in remarkable fashion; capturing the slightest notice of any unusual activity.

Gong: Why he appears pretty harmless? What harm can a random 13 year old do?

A sly smile appears on Ward and Soup’s faces.

Soup: Just be careful of Kaju, do not entertain him much. If he bothers you, just ensure you have your Mouth and plate filled with food. Gtg!! Enjoy yourselves.

Gong: Dude, we tackle clients with attitude problems and you ask me to be careful of a 13 year old named Cashew.  By the way I could not help noticing but those guys in the corner are speaking in Chemical Equations.

Ward: Nothing weird, they would be appearing for their 12th std. board examinations. They must be discussing about their IIT classes.

Gong: And those 3 females, they seem to be more interested in messaging rather than speak with each other.

Ward: Well, actually they are texting each other. It is much safer than being caught by eaves drooping siblings about the love stories in college campuses. See them Lol. [The girls chortle]


Birthday Map


Gong: Creepy!! The birthday Girl and her friends appear to be aping Hannah Montana or is it Hillary Duff. And those 2 kids pestering Soup and his friend about Hacking. Who do they think they are?? Stephen Wozniak [Utters Loudly]!!

[Kaju turns around and moves towards Ward and Gong]

Ward: Oh dear, why did you have to blab out that name so loud? He is approaching us. Stuff your mouth with Lays!!

Gong: I am not going to shy away from a 13 year old guy with a funny name.




Kaju: Hi, Ward!! It seems you and your companion are discussing about Apple’s Founder.

Gong: Not exactly, I just mentioned 1 of the founder’s name who is a popular hacker.

Ward indicates with his fingers that his mouth is full.

Kaju: Hi I am Kaustav J.

Gong: Oh so you are The Kaju. My friend here was praising you a little while ago.

Ward muffled cough. Heads for more Lays.

Kaju: Yeah. I am trying to get used to that. People keep praising me. For no reasons less they call me THE PRODIGY. [Ward coughs again]

Gong: I thought they address you as Kaju, Hindi for Cashew.

Kaju: Well, the School Correspondent of my school calls me THE PRODIGY after I topped the Chennai region for a National Talent Search examination.

Gong: My heartiest congratulations to you.

Kaju: So what do you do?

Gong: I work in the same Audit firm as your acquaintance Ward does.

Kaju [Looks with disdain]: So you pursued commerce in your +2. Is the pay any good?

Gong: Excuse me!!

Kaju: Yeah dude, what is your salary?

Ward: Dude Kaju, we are CA aspirants who are still in the process of learning. We get a Stipend for our services.

Kaju: Stipend is just a synonym of Salary. [Asks Gong] So what is your stipend?

Gong: [nonchalantly] neither Ward nor I are interested to marry either your sister or daughter [if any]; what we earn is none of your business?

Soup: Guys, they are going to cut the cake.

Ward: Finally. [To Gong] Boy that was sweet. But be prepared for some backlash. You just messed with a self appellate-d PRODIGY. I would like to warn you that it would get dirty. There he goes to Swap and Flap, the wannabe-hackers

Gong: How does he lash back? Kung-fu??

Ward: Worse, A 5 staged conversation regarding various topics of his liking. The fifth round generally becomes a bloody business. He uses his entire intellect to get the best of his oponents.

Gong: Did you ever get into this 5 staged debate?

Ward: Yes last year, same occasion and location. If you last till the 5th round, probe him on Mirinda Check. Just show no mercy, knock him out flat. But go low in the 3rd round, ie give him some space to get comfortable.

Gong: What is the Mirinda Chec….?? [Voice drowns  amidst the Birthday Song]

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear POLKA
Happy Birthday to You.

From good friends and true,
From old friends and new,
May good luck go with you,
And happiness too.


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