Debit and Credit- Tales of Gong and Ward

Archive for May 2010

Gong: Been a long time since I caught a movie at Sathyam Cinemas. Did you see any flick recently?

Ward: Hmm. But 2010 has not been a great year for moviegoers. No outstanding movie or even a decent flick in the past 6 months. Khan not a terrorist was just ok.

Gong: Last year we had pretty good movies from 3 idiots to Avatar, Kaminey and Hangover.

Ward: The most idiotic thing in 3 idiots was to watch Madhavan in his boxers for umpteen types. They should have at the least issued a PG rating. Shaeed Kapoor was amazing in Kaminey.  

Gong: There was also this Ranb… [Interrupts and Eyes Brighten]. Can you tell me about a movie where the lead actor is an engineer or pursuing to be one.

Ward: Just now we mentioned it. 3 idiots, Aamir was an engineer.

Gong: A movie where the actor is a doctor??

Ward: Amitabh Bachhan in Anand and Sanjay Dutt in Munna Bhai M.B.B.S.

Gong: Good. Salesman??

Ward: Wait!! Hmm… Ranbir Kapoor as Rocket Singh, Amazing flick.

Gong: Police?

Ward: Surya in Kaakha-Kaakha.

Gong: Lawyer.

Ward: Tom Cruise in A few good men. Amazing movie, that one. There was this Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks movie. Heart-rendering performances by both of them. Philadelphia.

Gong: Amazing movies. Nice Answers. Now tell me a movie where the lead actor is a Chartered Accountant.

Ward: Huh!! Hey you got me there. [Scratches his goatee]. Tough man; Pass. CAs are mostly seen as villains, however neither Bollywood, Kollywood or Hollywood would find a CA interesting for the Lead Actor’s role.

Gong: There is this 1 movie which comes in my mind. Cult Classic, An evergreen Comedy.

Ward: Is there a movie on CAs?

Gong: Incidentally the name of the movie is [Bursts out laughing] GOLMAAL.


Ward: Ah! I remember. The 70s movie. It had Amol Palekar in the lead role as a CA who tries to get the better of his boss UTPAL DUTT and after a number of twists eventually marries his daughter.

UTPAL DUTT

Gong: Yeah! I wonder why the director Hrishikesh Mukherjee of all professions selected a CA. Were CAs always viewed as master deceivers? Master manipulators.

Ward: However Amol Palekar did not manipulate any accounting books in the movie but manipulated  his moustache to please the rigid boss. Amazing songs in that movie. [hums Aane wala Pal.]

Gong: Man, However that movie did a lot to boost the CA’s image. They are often viewed as serious people sans any humour. And the only movie on a CA is 1 of the best known comedy flicks.

Ward: Agree. I wish the ICAI should give a tribute to this movie. They should play the song, ‘Golmaal hai bhai; sab golmaal hai’ in each and every convention.

Gong: Whenever a CA or an article goes for an audit he should be ready to meet as many GOLMAALs while conducting the audit. GOLMAAL will be there from Satyam to Goldman Sachs. KPMG, PWC or the firms in Sowcarpet.. Golmaal hai bhai sab GOLMAAL hai

Ward: Hey if we do not resume our audit, we will also be responsible for some GOLMAAL.

Gong and Ward: [Break into the song]

GOLMAAL HAI BHAI SAB GOLMAAL HAI;

Arey GOL MAAL HAI BHAI SAB GOLMAAL HAI

HAR SIDHE RASTE KI EK TEDHI HI CHAAL HAI

SIDHE RASTE KI EK TEDHI CHAAL HAI

GOLMAAL HAI BHAI SAB GOLMAAL HAI

GOLMAAL HAI GOLMAAL HAI

GOLMAAL HAI BHAI SAB GOLMAAL HAI!!!!

* Sowcarpet is 1 of the major trading centers in the city of Chennai and has a substantial number of small CA firms. They are unpopular for the low stipend they pay to article assistants and popular amongst GOLMAAL clients.

If internet is available at client’s office it is criminal not to read and forward this BLOG to friends.



Laxman Prasad

Ram Prasad

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Listen, baby
Ain’t no mountain high
Ain’t no vally low
Ain’t no river wide enough, baby
If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I’ll be there in a hurry
You don’t have to worry
‘Cause baby,
There ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Remember the day
I set you free
I told you
You could always count on me
From that day on I made a vow
I’ll be there when you want me
Some way,some how
‘Cause baby,
There ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
No wind, no rain
My love is alive
Way down in my heart
Although we are miles apart
If you ever need a helping hand
I’ll be there on the double
As fast as I can
Don’t you know that
There ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Don’t you know that
There ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no river wide enough!!

There aint no mountain high enough. Not even the mountain of Chartered Accountancy. Each and everyone of us can reach the summit. There are hurdles and hindrances in the form of not so sincere efforts on our part, rigidity by authorities and insatiable ways of various so called CA Teachers. Enjoy the song and sing it for the members, Teachers and examiners of ICAI.

There ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you!!

If you like the blog posts; please tell it to your friends by forwarding them the web-link.If you do not like the blogposts, tell it to puntonpiper@gmail.com or you could write a comment beneath .

Ward: Excuse me Weirdo!! Why for the heaven’s sake you are sniffing your books?

Gong: It’s the fragrance of the pages of the newly bought books. Love to smell them, exalts my spirits.

Ward: Hmm… It also  enhances your canine abilities. Does the fragrance of fresh paper the only thing which you look forward to in these New Books?

Gong: What are the other things you like to do with your books other than using them as a pillow and realizing its actual purpose only a month prior to the exams?

Ward: Well it depends. Before I buy the book, I check out the MRP and during the purchase of the book, the discount offered. After buying the book there are a loads of things 1 can check out.

Gong: Like?

Ward: Contents, Index, about the author, his qualifications, the Oscar moment and…

Gong: Oscar Moment??

Ward: Yeah, while at the end of writing every preface the author believes he should have his Oscar moment. He would thank his parents, spouse, children, publisher, teachers and others who were instrumental in his efforts to get the book published.

Gong: Interesting. [Rummages through his book] The author is thankful to his wife for her constant inspiration and to his son for his suggestions and untiring effort without which the current edition of the book would not come out within this short period.

Ward: The Publisher must have stressed him out with deadlines.

Gong: I have a friend who was thanked by an author for helping him in the publication of 1 of his books.

Ward: Your friend must have been proud about this privilege and at a later date might even consider an achievement.

Gong: Yeah, Even I felt proud of him.

Ward: I feel sorry for him.

Gong: Sorry. Why?

Ward: What good would an acknowledgement do? Its time students of professional courses actually start asserting themselves as professionals. They should demand a portion of the royalty instead of the name being published.

Gong: Dude that would be blasphemous. It would malign the sanctity of Student- teacher relationship.

Ward: On the other hand it would in fact aid practical learning. The student will then come to know the actual benefits of Sec 80 QQB.

Gong: Deduction with respect to Royalty as income. Do you think the student can actually earn a royalty income of Rs. 3 Lakhs or upwards to get the benefit of sec 80 QQB by just assisting the author? And moreover a book on Tax and Accounts does not fall under the category of being a work of literary, artistic or scientific nature. Then Sec 80 QQB is not applicable for textbooks.

Ward: What have you learnt in these many years of your article-ship? A loophole in the section is all you need. It specifically tells Textbooks for school. And did you forget the first lesson of your accounts class? Accounting is the art of recording classifying… And believe me Tax returns are stranger than any book on Truth or Fiction.

Gong: [Chuckles] I would certainly suggest this to my friend, the next time if the author asks him to assist.

Ward: When it comes to modesty in acknowledgement, B. Saravana Prasath takes the cake and the cherry. He expresses his gratitude to the ICAI for allowing him to use questions of its text books, compilation and revision test papers.

Gong: Honestly man. B.S.P. appears to be more gifted in MS- Word than in any other subject, a skill which eludes the authors of ICAI books. There is hardly any effort from his side other than using various format keys and tools in MS- Word like bulleting, embolden answers etc.

Ward: Well at times I wonder whether he is related to Kavya Vishwanathan a then Harvard undergraduate, the lady who wrote How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild and got a life.

Gong: I remember her; they caught her for plagiarizing from a number of books. Someone suggested she could have used a bibliography.

Ward: It would not help if Saravana Prasath uses a bibliography, just 3 sources. RTPs, ICAI Material and compilation of past exam question papers.

And in each book of his published by PADHUKA he seeks for the blessings of Adi Shankaracharya. For Heaven’s sake each composition of Shankaracharya was an original and continues to mesmerize generation after generation. B.S.P cannot speak or write anything original.

Gong: However he is the largest purchased author when it comes to CA exams. Everyone reads him. You cannot deny it.

Ward: Yeah, I know those books are like astrology forecasts in your newspaper supplements. You cannot help it, criticize it but eventually read it.

Gong: [Rummaging through his book again] Hey these authors also welcome suggestions, feedback and constructive criticism from students.

Ward: Here is one feedback, Do not make your books 50 rupees dearer each time it goes for a new issue. If you actually want to express gratitude, do it in such a fashion that the receiver actually benefits from it like Royalty, Dinner in Mainland China or other such constructive ways.

_____________________________________________________________

Kavya Vishwanathan was a Harvard school undergraduate who wrote the book, How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild and got a life. Later she was accused of plagiarizing from a number of books.

Saravana Prasath [B.S.P] is a CA and also a popular teacher in Chennai. He had created a record of sorts with a 76% score topping  his CA Final exams. However his approach of copying questions and solutions from ICAI text book and reproducing it in Expensive books does not bode well with puritans and draws constant criticism. Popular among students the books do brisk business.

Acknowledgement: I would like to thank CA Anand George Thomas for his constant support all these years. A graduate from Loyola College, Chennai, Anand cleared all his CA exams in the first attempt. Handsome, not  dark, relatively tall with a good physique; quite fond of animals. Highly recommended for ladies interested in Professional Accountants.  The acknowledgement is as per Ward’s advice.

Anand and the Kangaroos

Anand in Madame Tussaud

His Master's Rejoice!!

Gong: Good Morning, Dude. You appear a little pensive. Wassup?

Ward: Yeah Guten tag, dude. I am a little piqued.

Gong: Nothing new. What are you hankering about?

Ward: I was wondering about getting Handkerchiefs banned in Prime Academy classes.

Gong: Get ‘The what’ banned??

Ward: Yeah, you got me right–The Handkerchief. They ought to be banned in Prime Academy.

Gong: You miserable slimy creature. Know you not what you speak.

Ward: Know you not Shakespearean parlance is out of vogue for centuries.

Gong: Why are you piqued by a handkerchief, the most essential requirement in personal hygiene? You slimy pig!! [Looks with disgust]

The Handkerchief is believed to be a progeny of French fashion. Have you not seen Nobel Prize winners to Hollywood actors George Clooney to Brad Pitt sporting a Handkerchief on the pocket squares of their Giorgio Armani suits? The possession of a handkerchief of a pretty lady was considered an achievement from Rajnikants to Aamir Khans. And you consider it to be banned. Have you not seen zealous parents attaching a handkerchief with a safety pin on the uniforms of their kids going to Nursery?

Ward: As far as I know I consider it to be a major hindrance for my professional pursuits.

Gong: And how is that a piece of fabric is hindering your professional pursuit?

Ward: You know how these teachers like Patty come up with cheesy thoughts like if one sits in the back of the row..

Gong: Ones’ mind would be divided between the teacher and students sitting in front of him.

Ward: Exactly!! With 200-400 students attending Prime Academy Classes, one finds it very difficult to have a mind connect with those celebrated teachers of Prime Acad.

Gong: Well I do not disagree. Imagine getting up so early in the morning one finds it very difficult to focus on the action and accounting standards.

Ward: And I tried once to get those Prime first row seats and you know what followed?? Hell bent loose. Who says becoming CA is tough? Getting a first row seat in Prime Academy is more challenging.

Gong: I agree.

Ward: A week back I had decided to get one of those seats. So the next day ‘Early to bed, early to shave, bathe take the 1st bus from MTC’s stable’ and reach the classes at 5:50 am. And lo here it is Horror of all horrors— Handkerchiefs of various sizes and color. The most intimidating sight you can expect at 6 in the morning. Some useless fellows reserve all the first row seats with this squared fabric for their friends. Such Friendship would make Jai and Veeru embarrassed.

Gong: Yes, Yes!! I know. Once I told them that I am coming from the other end of the city and the gentlemen and ladies occupying seats for their friend’s, remark that they are coming from other cities like Warangal, Vizag, Behrampore etc.

Ward: I do not care whether you and your friends come from Behrampore or Singapore or from the next street. Here I am, have sacrificed my sleep and deserve the prime seat in Prime academy. But no these feudal snobs seem to have bought the seats. To keep my cool, I relented and gave up as M.P. Vijaykumar came in. And there you could see these privileged friends coming after MPV’s standard dialogue, “I’m the only person who can come late to the class” and alighting in the first 3 rows.

Gong: Chill dude. Its not as if a first row seat guarantees a All India Rank or even clearing your exams in the first attempt.

Ward: Then stop writing about it in Road-map for CA students. Next time I would get a binocular for the classes.

Gong: Would you lend me when you bring those??

Ward: And watch birds. Now I get what Patty means by a student’s mind getting divided between the teacher and students sitting in front of him. [Grins]

[Prime Academy is one of the largest and popular coaching institutes for CA students in Chennai. It draws students not only from Tamil Nadu but also other states like Kerala, A.P., Orissa etc.] M.P. Vijaykumar and Patty (Pattabiram) are faculties of Prime Academy.

Debit and Credit is a series of conversation involving  Gong & Ward. Two regular guys pursuing a professional course in Accountancy in the metropolitan city of Chennai. Their Life revolves around Books of account, Tax provisions, Clients and Coaching Institutes and food.

Ward has an acquired taste in matters with respect to Thoughts and General Lifestyle or that is what he believes. Sports a semi-goatee as long as the elders in his family do not find it clumsy. Popular in Bakery circles and Chat shops as a valued and cherished customer. Follows the dual mantra of DND & ESG viz. “Do not Diet” and “Eat Sleep Gym”. Had an athletic past.

Professional Strength: Good in Tax and accounts, Efficient in work. Goes well with Audit Managers.

Weaknesses: Menu Cards, Confronting Clients.

Hobbies: Eat, A budding ornithologist and Twitcher.

Gong— The Wikipedia on anything bollywood and entertainment, firm believer in the power of Brand. Loves to be attired in comfortable casual clothes. Knowledgeable about the diet chart very well and the calorie content in anything edible, only thing forgets to follow prior to ordering and regrets later.

Professional Strength: Confronting rigid clients and their cronies [read finance dept.].

Weaknesses: Following the timetable, others cannot be mentioned here.

Hobbies
: Watching movies, Drawing.

Common Features: Apart from the above mentioned characteristics both Ward and Gong have some similarities. They both are well.. single, then they happen to be CA students. However both are adorable, immensely helpful and cheerful in times of trouble.

Welcome to WordPress.com. Do the New. Read the New.

A fun Blog on the life of CA article students.

Intention is to be humorous and see things in a Lighter Perspective and not to demean the sentimentsof others.

Hope you enjoy reading it as I enjoy writing it.


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